By Scott Reddoch
One of the hardest things that I have done is accepting my failures. A lot can be learned from failure, the faster that it is accepted the sooner you can begin learning. This next thing is great. Have you ever seen Pinterest fails? If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and search the web for it. There is some pure gold on Pinterest fails. What it does is shows off the terrible first attempts people have made while trying to create something they found on Pinterest, pure gold!
We don’t like the word failure. The word is often associated with regret and frustration. Failure can often feel like the end, a miserable final judgment on your sweat and hard work. It isn’t final. Failure is vital feedback on that try and can be a big catalyst for change. Think of a failure that stands out in your life. How did your failure affect you? Were others affected? Did you learn from the experience?
Perhaps the biggest reluctance to try is a deeply rooted fear of failure. If this sounds like you, welcome to the club. The fear of failure is a learned behavior. We learn that failing is a bad thing early in childhood. Most babies and toddlers have no concept of failure. They try to sit up, fail and try again. Babies don’t give up on trying to walk because the first few attempts failed, but many adults would. A baby may cry if a leaf touches its arm, but will keep trying to do things without any frustration. We can learn a thing or two from a baby. The fear of failure and only seeing the desired achievement as success, can lead to stagnation. Society has made failure into a flaw or weakness and it should be avoided at all costs. Because of this, we quit pushing our limits. You may think that if you don’t try that you don’t fail. We achieve greatness through trying. Failure is a step in any growing endeavor. Fumbling around in the dark isn’t fun, but blazing a trail is.
What many people don’t realize is that failure has numerous lessons to teach us. Failure presents opportunities to learn that a lucky shot does not. A failed plan will reveal mistakes in the approach or areas that need additional improvement for your next try. The process of reflection on the failures and adjusting the plan, is vital for ultimately achieving success in your endeavors. Without falling, there isn’t need for any adjustment to the plan, the changes and other attempts build up persistence. Every single successful person that I’ve met has said that learning from mistakes, adjusting as needed, and persistence are keys to their achievement.
Each time that I accept failure, I develop the ability to bounce back from adversity a little faster. It’s not the failure that defines my self-worth, but what I do next that does. By accepting the failure, I complete the first step towards success and I build emotional resilience. Learning to accept failure without it affecting my self-worth, allows me to improvise and adapt my approach more quickly. Over time, I have shifted my mindset from fearing failure to looking for a solution to the problem. Sometimes my solution doesn’t work, and that is okay.
A huge part of achieving anything is self-compassion. I’m not getting anything accomplished by chewing myself out and having a pity party because the plan didn’t work. I have learned that kindness and patience with myself is important. This allows me to forgive myself for not being perfect, realizing that anyone who strives for success will face failures along the way. By being self-compassionate, I create an environment that focuses on having the confidence to try, fail and try again.
I mentioned earlier that accepting failure can be a catalyst for change. I think the powerful changes are underestimated. Many of us have heard that necessity is the mother of invention. I have found failure to be the mother of invention. Failure forces me to reassess and change my approach. It challenges my creativity and makes me create new strategies to reach my goal. My lack of growth can be attributed to the fear of failure. The tried and true ways that others have made for achievement, are easy to get stuck in. When I accept failure and realize that it is just part of the process, I open lots of new possibilities.
Accepting failure is just a step in the process of success. I am in no way saying that we don’t need to be accountable. I am just saying that failure is not a bad thing, it is temporary and tells you what doesn’t work. Through failure we develop the emotional resilience to keep going. It challenges us to change course and push through the adversity. Don’t miss out on the great feedback that failure has for us. Changing my mindset from fearing failure to solving problems has been crucial for my achievement. Regardless of how many times I fall, I know failure is a temporary setback, and is crucial for future achievement.
